Wednesday, December 16, 2009

FTC Ruling

Disclaimer from the Queen of Quang: Oops! I forgot---in light of the FTC's unconstitutional we-want- to-control-the- internet-even-though-it-is-a-world-wide-web Decemeber 1 ruling---to mention the fact in the post below, that neither Adam nor I get paid in any way for mentioning the words Ziploc, Emergency Essentials, Vienna Sausages, Kleenex, Tylenol, Advil, Band-aids, UNO, Skip-Bo, Old Maid, and Crazy Eights.

We are also not responsible if the reader interprets the word "disclaimer" to mean the below-mentioned "insect repellent," as in "the only reason we are mentioning this stupid disclaimer is because we want to repel the insects who are trolling the internet hoping to slap a fine on unsuspecting bloggers."

However, and only because the FTC thinks you are stupid and that you do not know what an "advertisement" is, I will tell you that the pretty pictures on my side bar and bottom bar that look like ads, are indeed ads. The ones that look like family pictures are probably family pictures. Because the FTC thinks you do not know the nature of ads, it is my job as a Big Bad Blogger who rapes the internet of its innocence, to tell you that companies PAY other people to display their ads. Commercials you see on TV?---yup, you got it. The TV stations get PAID to display those. Glossy photos in magazines that make you want to run out and uncontrollably BUY something? Yeah. Someone PAID the magazine to publish that picture. I know, creepy. I've ruined Christmas for you, haven't I?

In blog land, various companies will pay the blogger for ads on the blogger's site providing one of two things happen:
1. Either the reader clicks on the ad and looks at the new screen that pops up
2. The reader clicks on the ad and actually buys something.

Now because of agreements I have with various advertisers, I cannot tell you which advertiser does which. Just let it be known, although I am not as confident of your ignorance as the FTC is, that if I write something, and it has a link to a page where you can BUY something, that I probably get paid if you BUY something. I will also tell you that in one year of blogging and in one year of having ads on my site, I have gotten paid exactly ZERO. The TV stations and magazines are not so lucky.

The fellow bloggers whose sites are listed in my sidebar are there because I love them like crazy, and not because they have paid me to love them either! They are just lovable.

So, at the risk of offending your sensibilities, I unfortunately will have to mention various aspects of this disclaimer every time I post a blog that mentions something buy-able, as per the FTC unconstitutional ruling.

[Further disclaimer: I was in no way paid by the FTC, in cash, in product, or in blog fame, for mentioning the name "FTC." If they would like to strike an agreement though, I might be amenable.]


  1. LOL. Controlling the internet, one step at a time...

  2. Wonderful writing, Randi. You should post this all over the Internet.

  3. Good grief. I didn't even think about that, well just buy the "store brand" of whatever those items are Walmart's label is usually "Equate Pain reliever" or "Equate brand toilet paper".

    Just make sure you let the head of the school knows your goodies are coming to the school so he is cool with that, you might have to share some with him or the school children :)

    Next time I'll send it FedEx or UPS, much cheaper, oh well my stupidity of not knowing how to use the automated mailer thingy is your gain ;)

  4. Auntie M: I kinda ranted, huh? :)

    Adam: Yes, I will have to go check with the school, since we unexpectedly got out of school early.
    Is this one of those situations where it cost you more to mail than the item was worth? I've done that before too. AARGH.

  5. oh, that was just too flipping funny!

    And here I thought the family photos were ads for a photos, or a photographer, or selling haircare products.. or I don't know, but something!

    I thought you put me on your sidebar because I paid you with internet hugs and kisses? Isn't that payment of some sort? Or is the FTC only referring to money of the currency sort?

    Loved this post - you sure are the queen!

  6. You nailed it, girlfriend! They are pretty ridiculous.

  7. Daisy: Indeed, all the people in my family photos are available for sale. And I forgot to mention that when I talk about them in my blog, they are paying me to mock them! :)

    "I thought you put me on your sidebar because I paid you with internet hugs and kisses?" Shh...we can't let the FTC know that part. Their motto is "TAX THE WORLD." I don't think Canada is too happy about that.

  8. Hayden: Let's just hope they don't fine me for failing to post the "sarcasm ahead" disclaimer. (If I suddenly disappear, you'll know what happened.) :)

  9. You're lovable too :)

    Great post! Enjoy your blog fame - you deserve it.

  10. septembermom: Thank you, muchly! You are ever the sweetheart.

  11. Randi, well if you like the gift it was worth the price. If you like any of the licorice I sent you let me know & I can always send you a "refill". Or if you see anything in the flyer you want [except for frozen stuff obviously] I can try & send another care package ;)

    Just bug TJs & ask em to open a store in Utah, they don't listen to me.

  12. Hi Randi
    Did I miss something? Perhaps they are right...I know nothing! I usually press 'delete' and things will just go away. I tried it with someone at work but nothing happened. Will it happen with FTC? Would control+Alt+Delete rid us of programs or organisations that are bugging us? What is FTC anyway...Fight The Cause, Far Too Cunning, Finding Time to Criticise, Forever Trying to Charge?

    ps, I hate general ads on blogs other than personal ones.

  13. Adam: I sent out the "Incoming Package Alert" at the school so they will notify me when it comes. (Unless the aroma of black licorice is too tempting and they "lose" the package--hee hee!) I'm glad you sent along a flyer.

    Ken:I love it! Control-Alt-Delete the FTC! I've never tried just deleting things in life that I don't like. I loved your descriptions of the FTC--especially Forever Trying to Charge. Regarding ads on blogs---when I first started a blog, all the blogging icons said to make sure there are ads because it's a great source of passive income. Being a former business manager, I was all excited about "passive income." However, as many bloggers will tell you the passive income is so passive as to be downright slothful, snail-like, and sluggish. I've thought many times about just deleting the ads, but I am "this close" to getting my first check (with one of the advertisers you only get paid after your revenue hits a certain amount. Almost there.)

  14. Randi, well if the neighborhood koala gets ahold of your Australian licorice I guess I am ok with that too :)

  15. Adam: You know the nice thing about liking black licorice is that not as many other people like it, so I rarely have to share! But, if I had to share with something as cute as a koala, I will gladly do so. :)

  16. Well hopefully it should be there any day now, I sent it on Monday using priority express, I should've gotten a tracking # too, :(


You won't be paid for it, but at least you'll know that you have contributed intelligence to the universe...

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