Monday, November 24, 2008

Eleven Unsettling Confessions

Just so you know, before you get too fond of me...

1. The toilet paper always runs out on me. It doesn’t matter where I am—home, church, school, your house—it will wait to run out until I get there. In fact, I’ve made friends that way. Don’t like to change the toilet paper roll? Just invite me over when you see the roll is getting low, pump me with some liquid refreshments, and ta-dah! Your toilet paper roll will always have less than enough paper for me to finish my job, forcing me to change the roll for you!

2. I cry at Riverdance.

3. I’m a Lost addict. Favorite character: Ben. Creepy, huh?

4. Iowa IS Heaven.

5. I think a lot about religion. I’m on my third one. The coolest thing is when I learn something I never knew before, like finding out that the Book of Isaiah is full of literary styles such as chiasm and parallelism. Look it up; I’m not kidding!

6. Teaching is a fun profession, even when you don’t get paid. I teach nine fifth graders at a home school co-op. And just so ya know, I am NOT smarter than a fifth grader.

7. In my dream life, I am a tornado chaser.

8. I hate shopping, yet I am a woman.

9. Favorite meal: Tomatoes, fresh from the garden. Corn on the cob (Must be Iowa corn and not that fake GMO substitute at Walmart.) Peppermint Iced Tea. Chocolate Fudge Brownie Mint Caramel Swirl ice cream served in a trough.

10. I love my family. It’s very extended. I am a real mom and a real grandma. But, I have people who call me Grandma, when I’m not really related, people who call me Aunt Randi when I’m not, and a couple of kids who call me Mama when I ain’t their mama.

11. I am a pen fanatic. Gel pens, Sharpies, Pentel, Expo markers, calligraphy pens, neon highlighters—I love them all! My ex-boss gave me a Palm Pilot once and I forsook it because I’d rather make different colored entries in my Franklin.

There you have it. Be forewarned.

No comments:

Post a Comment

You won't be paid for it, but at least you'll know that you have contributed intelligence to the universe...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...