Ever have to scrape that goopy pile of food remnants from the inside of the kitchen sink drainer? Foreign Quang. Ever notice you were trailing something from your shoe, and upon closer investigation realized that you had stepped in gum, but the gum had attracted all sorts of kibbles and bits that were now lodged in the tread of your shoe? Foreign Quang. Ever try to scrape some dried Foreign Quang off of a wall, only to discover that your son and his nose were too lazy to look for a tissue?
Quick usage sample: "Oh Heavens, Gertrude! You must have landed in some Foreign Quang on that park bench. It's all over the back of your skirt."
Or another: "Would you please give the dog a bath? He has some sort of Foreign Quang matted in his fur."
Foreign Quang is all about those little things that crop up in your life, things that may not seem like big things at the time, but end up being the impressive stuff of which future memoirs are written.
Our motto comes to us from Quotemaster Extraordinaire, Robert Brault:
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
And our logo comes to us from the bottom of Em's shoe:
2. What do you do for fun?
For fun I like to find grammatical errors on public signs, post them on Facebook or on Foreign Quang, then invite others to a mocking and pointing fest. I also like to go into local businesses, critique them in my mind, then make a mental list of all the ways they could increase business if only they would have the foresight to stop me in the aisle and ask for my opinion.
3. Why do your family members have such weird names?
Aw, come on. Did you think I would post our real names and locations, thereby depriving some poor NSA agent a livelihood?
4. Why do you live in the country when you're afraid of animals?
It's a little-known fact that I am not afraid of all animals. No. I do not fear rabbits, kittens, penguins as long as they stay on their own continent, ladybugs, sponges, and Stitch. I am able to successfully live in the country because I hang around people who have weapons and know how to use them.
5. You seem like such a nice, caring, compassionate person. What's up with all the hate speech concerning onions?
Many times our biases are deeply rooted in childhood. Since I was a small girl, my tolerance level toward onions has been nil. This often led to rifts in our family when I would accuse my saintly mother of purposely planting onions in whatever we were having for dinner. "I swear, I did not put any onions in the soup," she would cry. "Unless there were some in that seasoning packet I used." Aha! Busted. To this day, I have trust issues concerning onions. I never believe a waiter when he says, "No, madam, we do not use onions in our products." I will sniff out an offender before it ever reaches my table. I am thankful you exposed my intolerance with your question. I fear I have passed on my prejudice to my own son who asks, "Are there onions in this?" before dipping his spoon into a bowl of ice cream. It's only by exposure, then acknowledgement, followed by repentance, that we can overcome our intolerant attitudes.
6. Which of your two daughters is Fat Chung and which is Chung Fat?
To this day, I cannot tell. Not because it's a secret, but because I never did know which was which. Even they don't know. If you ask Em, she will say, "I am Chung Fat! Kay is Fat Chung." But Kay will insist, "No, Em is Fat Chung and the proof is in her daughter, who is Fat Chung, Jr." When you see them together, it's best to not even bring it up.
7. Is it true that upon entering a room your son will screech like a pterodactyl to announce his presence?
That is true. However, his voice is changing and his ability to make eardrums bleed is rapidly lessening.
8. Red licorice or black?
Black. Black jelly beans too.
9. What is your superpower?
I am positive that if needed, I could eat an entire carton of ice cream, by myself, in one sitting. I've never tried it, but the potential is there, lurking. And I'm not talking about those wimpy Ben & Jerry's size cartons.
10. Why is your house called The Toothpaste House?
Before I lived in the Toothpaste House, my friends lived here. Before they did, my other friends lived here. And before them, my other friends lived here. And before that, my daughter and her husband lived here. It kind of just gets passed around from friend to friend. And for all those other people, the house was painted Crest blue. With darker Crest blue trim.
My husband did not like the toothpaste color of the house. He missed Seattle so he painted the house mint green with dark green trim. He says it's the Mouthwash House now. But traditions are hard to change and whenever I tell someone where I live, when I say "The Toothpaste House," they know exactly which house I mean.