Friday, October 23, 2009

Thoughts of a Twitterless Thinker 10-23-09

Most adult women know the sensation of being groomed by other women.

Not grooming in the sense of having another woman pick lice out of your hair and then crush the lice between her teeth in the manner of a female monkey. No, grooming in the sense of having another woman walk up behind you and kindly push the care tag back inside the neck of your shirt.

Or having a woman pick a stray thread off your wool coat or release the strand of hair that got tangled up in your hoop earring. Or even silently mouthing, “You have lipstick on your teeth.”

Yeah, women groom each other like that.

So last Sunday in church when I felt someone fussing with my hair from behind, I assumed I probably had a curl that had gone awry and was boinging out ridiculously from my head. I ignored it until I felt the gentle tugging again.

I turned around to see which woman was courteously grooming me.

It was a man! What in the world?

“Sorry, I’m just trying to catch that spider that’s in your hair.”


Can I say that again?


I was totally amazed at my self control, sitting frozen while every cell in my body wanted to leap out of that chair and yell to all present, “There’s a spider in my hair! AAAAGGGGHHH!”

After a few agonizing seconds I heard one of the most joyous phrases in human language:

“Got it.”

I wonder if he does lice checks too?

Kids tell it like it is.

Earlier this week, the 6th grade science teacher asked if I would watch her three-year-old daughter, Ella, while she taught class for an hour. As it was my lunch break, I agreed.

I had never spent any time alone with Ella, and I found her delightful. I read several books to her, and found a child’s picture dictionary to be especially entertaining. She enjoyed naming each picture as I pointed to it.

When we reached the “H” section, I pointed to a picture of the heads of three children and tried to get her to say “hair.” Repeated attempts failed and I got the bright idea of pointing to my own hair instead. I grasped a hank of my hair, and asked, “Ella, what is this?”


Indeed. Maybe that’s why SPIDERS like to live there.

One of my students brought his Buzz Word game to school last week, asking if we could play it in class. Since I teach literature and the game contains a lot of well-known phrases the kids should know, I agreed. Later, another class wanted to play also.

We had such a good experience with the first class, I told the next class they could play too. I had to explain the rules though.

“You pick a card. Each card has a word at the top, say for example, the word UP.
You tell your teammates the word is UP, and then they have to provide answers based on clues that you give them, but each answer must have the work UP in it. For example if the clue says sometimes you’re in a good mood and sometimes you’re in a bad mood, we would say you HAVE YOUR UPS AND DOWNS. Get it?”

They all said they got it. It was time to pick the first card. I reached into the card box, which contained four hundred possible words, and guess which word I picked out?
You guessed it---UP! I kid you not. What are the odds of that? Something like 1 in 400 I’ll bet.

One of my newest simple pleasures: Opening up Facebook to see a notification that says I have one new friend request. There’s always that moment of anticipation while I click and wonder who waits behind the door. (Kind of like when you never knew who was going to walk through Dean Martin’s door on his TV show.)

You all know how much I love surprises, right? My son brought in the mail the other day, and along with the ads was a big brown envelope addressed to me. I opened it, and inside were two amazing card making magazines! The especially keen thing was that they came with pretty papers, templates, stickers, adhesives and embellishments. And even better? They were from the UK, so I had never seen these two magazines before. The gifts were a surprise from one of Foreign Quang’s UK readers. Since I haven’t asked her permission yet, I will acknowledge her anonymously. Thank you so much, my dear friend! My week went so much better because of you. You helped me ignore the first nasty message that I got from a commenter this week.

Dear Son is off on a mountain biking trip this weekend without the old folks. Well, without his own old folks, that is. Scout leaders will be there. I’ve been really grateful to the Scouting program because Weston is learning to be a Mountain Man. He does manly things like dig his own potty hole, pitch his own tent, learn how to use knives with more than one function, and raccoon-proof his food. He loves it. I would teach him how to do those types of things but I DON’T CAMP.

Computer Geek camps and has tried to get me to camp too. I’ve never really seen the purpose in camping. Camping means that I must be willing to make my life extremely miserable for at least one night. Really, why would any sane person say, “I will sleep on the ground guaranteeing sore muscles and a headache the next day; I will wrap my arms around a skinny tree so that I can go to the bathroom without soiling my clothes; I will agree to cook around a campfire then try to clean the pans without running water; I will look forward to washing the smoke smell out of all clothing I took with me---even clothes that I did not wear; and furthermore, I will agree to pretend like purposely making my life harder for the duration of the trip is actually fun. And trying to put contacts in without a mirror, curling my hair, putting makeup on, and actually BATHING? I won’t even go there. So, have a good time, Son!

Confession time: I fell in love with a Miley Cyrus song this week. I’ve been singing it in my mind ever since I saw it on my cousin’s Facebook page the other day. My nomination for cool video of the week is a way cool kid doing sign language to the song. It just makes me so darn HAPPY. And now I want to learn sign language so I can rock like that!

So I’m watching Super Nanny tonight and it’s way interesting because the father refuses to acknowledge his daughter when he gets home from work. Doesn’t speak, doesn’t hug her, doesn’t even seem to see her. Super Nanny takes father and daughter for a ride in a cable car and stops the car in mid-air until they work out their issues. They end up hugging in a touching moment. Then it’s dad’s turn to work on his relationship with mom. Things seem very strained and he seems unwilling to change. I’m on the edge of my seat.

What happened next? I will never know because the next thing I knew I was awakened by some man in a yellow suit jacket on Ugly Betty.

Edge of my seat------ZONK. Edge of my seat-----ZONK. How do these things happen?

It’s called OLD AGE, people. It’s called I TURN FIFTY IN TWO MONTHS.

Anybody know how Super Nanny ended?


  1. Grooming. I recently attended a graveside memorial for a neighbor.
    I had walked from the car among a number of people and I now stood in reverence while others filled in behind me. When I shifted position so I could see better, someone tapped my shoulder. A woman whispered that my skirt was hiked up in back. Fortunately, the skirt has its own slip, so the slip still covered my legs, but the material had caught itself in the slip part.

  2. Spider in your hair?? I would've jumped out of my seat! That Buzz Word games sounds cool. I think I'll try it with my boys. I can't believe that super young you is going to be 50! I hope to look half as good at 50. You're a beauty :)

  3. I firmly believe that no one should EVER be ashamed of their musical tastes! I love me some Miley (hello, "See You Again" was AWESOME).

    Embrace it loud and proud!

    I spent my childhood at the Stetson University School of Music (my father played the viola, violin, and guitar) and grew up listening "good" music. I know my Rachmaninoff from my Bach, thank you very much, and yet I manage to throw down with Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.

    There's this idea that loving certain kinds of music is stupid, lowbrow, and tasteless. Which is amazing because the people who feel this way probably have no compunctions about chowing down on a donut.

    The truth is that the people who limit their musical taste to THIS but NEVER THIS are the people who age the fastest. They've closed their minds to the possibilities.

  4. The spider episode is so funny Randi and coincides with a similar experience we had on the same day. I'd forgotten all about it until I read your post. I think I'll share it week on.
    I love the way you tell'em! You are so funny!

  5. Auntie M: Feeling like a flasher, were ya? :) What would we do without those women in our lives who keep us looking fine? I know I've been grateful to many women who've kept me from further embarrassment. Or the man who kept spiders from hatching on my head!

    septembermom: You should so try Buzz Word with your boys. Some of the phrases were above the heads of some of my students, but it helped them learn, especially since some of the phrases are so commonly used.

    Thanks for the nice comments on my age. I certainly don't feel 50. My mom and her sisters have all aged well, as in having their natural hair color and very few wrinkles even into their seventies. I'm hoping it's all hereditary!

    Hayden: I've never heard "See You Again" but I'm heading over to youtube right after I finish commenting here. I LOVE "Party in the USA." It's such a catchy tune. I keep singing, "Nodding my head like yeah, moving my hips like yeah."

    So you're a classical girl! I used to play classical music to my penmanship students while they were doing their writing drills. It calmed them so much. Plus children get so thrilled when they recognize a tune.

    I was just confessing to Miley because of my age. My kids used to make fun of me when I liked NSync and Back Street Boys. One time, when Em was a teen, her friend came over, rolled her eyes and said,"Can you believe so-and so's mom knows the names of all the Backstreet Boys and all of NSync? Oh brother!" I walked right up to that girl and said, with a huge smile on my face, " Kevin, A.J., Howie, Nick, Brian, Lance, J.C., Joey, Justin and Chris." Yeah! Rocker Mom!

    Ken:I can't wait to hear your spider story! Do tell! And thank you ever so much for the compliments. You are too kind.

  6. There's something about your posts.. that always make me feel - happy. Thanks for sharing.

    1) SPIDER - ACCCKKKK. Remember how I scream like a little girl? Oh yes. That'd be me. Except with a little dance to boot.

    2) New Friends - I said to someone the other day the quote from one of my fav. movies - Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. And it's true. Although I meet lots of people (some of whom I know I just don't want to really get to know any more than I already have), then there are the clear winners and gems who I only wish I met sooner.

    3) Myley Cyrus - I can't decide yet if I like it or not...

    4) Age - I fell asleep for a LONG time today. It must be age. I'm having scary b-day coming soon in about 2 months too. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  7. Daisy: Thank you for the nice compliment! You're always so sweet.

    Oh trust me, I wanted to scream! Had I not been in church and afraid of having lightning strike me, I probably would have! :)

    I took a really long nap today too! I kept waking up though because somehow we got some flies in the house and they kept landing on me. Not as bad as spiders though, eh? So which scary birthday are you going to celebrate? And are you a December girl too?

  8. "You helped me ignore the first nasty message that I got from a commenter this week."

    I can't in my wildest dreams imagine anyone sending you a nasty comment. It just doesn't compute. You're one of the most compassionate, warmhearted, funniest, brightest people I've met online. And you have nice commenters, too, so I can't imagine them taking offence at anything anyone else writes here.

    Back to the Tw Thoughts...

    So you're Facebooking now, eh? It'll be Twitter next, and then CG will be prising your fingers off the keyboard in the middle of the night.

    I loved the spider story, but even more, I loved how you wove it into the tale of the wee girl and her tangles. You just make me smile.

    And I'm with Hayden on the music - I'm a musical loose woman and will give most music a chance. I'm fairly firm on what I like after I've heard it, but I don't pigeonhole or dismiss whole genres. There was a Miley Cyrus song on the radio that I liked, something about climbing mountains. (I'll check your link after I submit this.)My daughter - who has teenage blinkers - nearly gagged when I told her.

    And camping? I loved it as a child, made the most of it as a teenage girl guide and as a mum, I bought a tent then made my husband sleep out in the garden in it with the kids! For me, camping = backache + dark circles under my eyes + permanently damp clothes.

  9. Janice: It was a strange comment from a strange place. Not from any of our regulars. I deleted it before too many people saw it.Nevertheless, it was a little unsettling.

    Yes, I'm on Facebook. Are you? Will you be my friend? :) But no! I will not Twitter!

    I will give most music a chance too. Heck, I even got converted to some of Eminem's stuff through Writer Dad and Cindy. I usually love an individual song, more than I love a group or a genre. It's mainly for me whether I can dance to it, or whether it evokes some emotion in me.

    So you're with me on the camping thing, eh? I tried camping in the backyard a couple of summers ago, and ended up going inside. No matter how cushy the sleeping bag, it doesn't compare to a bed. I just couldn't get warm either.


You won't be paid for it, but at least you'll know that you have contributed intelligence to the universe...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...