Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Using Google Analytics When You Need a Laugh

A fun aspect to blogging is to peek in with my Google Analytics account to see what’s going on. Each day I can see how many people visited my site and view a map telling me from which state or country they viewed Foreign Quang.

Google Analytics tickles me most when I use it to see what combination of words a user typed into a search engine to find my site. Out of curiosity I looked over the figures from last year to see which combinations were the most popular, and which were the most unusual.

I assumed that someone actually typing in “Foreign Quang” would have turned in the highest number of results. Not so. The number one string of words that was put together to find my site was “Randi quangness.” The words “foreign quang” only produced half as many results.

The greatest combination of words on one topic were related to being a giver or a taker. People looking for that subject landed on my post “Are You a Giver or a Taker?” by typing in such strings as:

Givers and takers sermon

Takers and givers book

Givers and takers quotes

Are you a giver or a taker?

When you have money problems the taker leaves while the giver gets a second job [Issues!]

I am the giver everyone else is the taker [Of course.]

Accusing me of being not a giver

Givers and takers people who gets things done and people who make excuses [Right on!]

Givers governmental loopholes

He is a taker I am a giver

I am the giver you are the taker

In-laws who are takers not givers

Parent takers and children givers

Show me all about givers shall never lack

What do u think are you a giver or taker of your school

Who is to be blamed? The giver of the bride or the receiver? [Hmmm…]

These are just a few of the giver/taker combinations that were typed in to reach my site. I learned that most people acknowledged that they are indeed givers and that we have very few takers in the world. Maybe because the givers want to know why the takers take but the takers never want to know why the givers give?

Quite a few people landed on my site while they were searching for someone else. Here are a few people that drew searchers to FQ.

Merrill Osmond stroke

Robert Brault [I am so honored people found me by looking for him]

Yoni Posnick

Kelli Solsma [ Two people found me by looking for my sister.]

Tony Almeida scowl [ 24 reference]

Cheryl Burke [Dancing with the Stars reference]

Justine Dorton [I have no idea how this led anyone to my site.]

Chloe O’Brien scowl [another 24 reference]

Chloe O Brian underwear [Seriously? They found me by typing that in?]

Joanne Landis [I made up this name in one of my posts—apparently she’s real.Oops.]

Laura Bush

Liz Armbruster [I was just getting to know Liz when she suddenly passed away. She signed my guestbook.]

Louie Dillon [Author who signed my guestbook]

Marie Osmond [Famous person who signed my guestbook—NOT!]

Merrill Osmond new granddaughter

The following searches I can totally understand because I actually wrote posts on a topic that pertained to the search:

Essentials of good customer care

The bluest skies I’ve ever seen are in Seattle TV show

Packing 72 hour backpack

Chocolate Ambrosia Pie [7 people remember this Midwestern delight.]

Frugality with poverty mentality

Enjoy what’s left of summer

Bright and sunny dispositions of Down syndrome [A guest post by author Madonna Dries Christensen.]

Stop Gore

Addicted to Lipton chicken noodle soup while pregnant boy or girl

Childrearing teenagers

Filipino children’s punishment and discipline kicking [Because I said my daughter went to the Philippines?]

Gnome party napkins/plates [Because we have a daughter named Gnome, Google assumes we sell all kinds of party paraphernalia relating to her name.]

Hack the Planet 5x tshirt [I listed the movie Hackers as something I had seen more than 5x. Understandable.]

Surprise someone using computer

Listed below are some of my favorites because I either have absolutely no clue how the search led people to my site, or because the reference is so obscure that I stand all amazed.

Tying two doorknobs together [this was typed in ten times!]

Mallard duck baby sipper cup

Content that will not be delivered using http

Creative copy challenge

With my sharp fingernails

I got my braces my son

Accidentally smothered kitten in bed [I swear I did not.]

Birthday blessings to the queen [Yeah, I can see this one. Yup. Yup.]

Do you want to only view the web page content that was viewed securely?

How to next an unresponded text message

I love sneaking peeks up my mom’s bathrobe [OK I’m really worried about this person.]

Is there any dirt on the Osmond family as far as child abuse or controlling parents [Whoever typed that in will be sorry they got my site-yeah!]

Lice [Really? You were looking for lice and found me? That makes my head itch.]

Love advice links [Well, I’ve never tried it before, but sure. I’ll give you some love advice.]

Bishops Cafeteria basement [Did all Bishops’ have creepy basements?]

Musiche 4story [No earthly idea.]

Orbit gum. [Sure, I’ll take some free Orbit gum.]

Poem about soap, toothpaste and toothbrush [It should be easy enough to write your own.]

Special candy for foreign holidays [I have “foreign” in my blog title!]

The I Worlud movie [Auntie M., I think this one’s for you.]

Write an essay about baby in the beach the author explores the fear and vulnerability of a child who cannot find his mother. [Now that was pretty specific. How did Google not lead them dirtectly to the correct site?]

Kid giddy blogspot [I'll admit, I have had my share of giddy kids on my site. Still.]

Lastly, we have my least favorite search that led someone to my site:

How many quangs does it take to suck?


  1. Randi, this is not only amusing, but an interesting look at how the Internet connects people, in odd ways, I must say.

  2. Randi,
    People finding you by searching for me? Okay, two can play that game (please check out the top of my blog.)


  3. Auntie M: Hey maybe that could be a new dating service---"Google Analytics, connecting you in ways you never thought possible."

    Robert Brault--You are so awesome! What a nice quote. *sniff* I'm sure I'll find a way to get even. :)

    Nice tribute to Liz too, by the way.I appreciate that, and the opportunity you gave us to get to know her.

  4. I think this is hilarious. I especially enjoyed the mallard sippy cup. Just as a note to this, I was searching for my own blog and typed in it's name, my name, the names of my blogs, everything, but I couldn't find it. I"m wondering if I should type in something crazy like "man falls down while doing a headstand" and maybe it will magically appear :P

  5. You know how to make me giggle and smile Randi! Thanks!

    Thank you so much for being a wonderful friend. I appreciate your prayers and support so much :)

  6. juliegoose: That's strange. I found your site right away when I did a search. I just typed in "twilight addicted green and popular irish l.m.montgomery fan with spritely dancing pixie-like daughter gracing website." Popped right up.

    septembermom: I'm glad you got a giggle out of it. You deserve a few laughs. As ever, you are in my thoughts and prayers. :)

  7. This is hilarious! You must send me an email lesson on how to explore the long term memory of Google Analytics. My first weird batch came I wrote a post called write like Grissom.

    I'm glad you're writing regularly again!

  8. Janice: So what kind of oddities did you discover? I love hearing about what odd searches led people to a site. As far as getting into the long term memory of GA, it's really easy. I just changed the date on the calendar that is on the main page to start when my blog started, and then end on today's date. Then at the bottom of the page, it will ask you how many results you want to see at once (I think the default is 10) and I picked 250. It showed everything since my blog started. I hope that helps!

  9. Haha. So funny. I once found a bunch of people who were looking for "circus olay" and ended up at some stuff about oil of olay on my website. I can only assume that by "circus olay" they meant "cirque du soleil."

  10. orbit gum: Circus Olay! Now THAT is hilarious! I'm sure you're right about the cirque du soleil confusion. I'll probably be laughing about that one for days.


You won't be paid for it, but at least you'll know that you have contributed intelligence to the universe...

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