Thursday, May 5, 2011

Male/Female Communication, or Should I Say "Miscommunication"?

Last year, when we moved into The Toothpaste House,  we discovered rocks of various sizes parked throughout the yard. Some of them were flat instead of rounded, so I thought they would make good stepping stones for a garden pathway.  Because there is always a good year or two between the time I come up with a great idea and its actual implementation, it was this week before I finally broke ground.

I had the job of digging the hole and Weston's job was to place the flat stone into the hole. After he had successfully inserted several rocks into the ground, I had to take issue with his last attempt.

"There's something not quite right about this one," I said. I walked around the rock, viewing it from all angles. Finally, I said, "It needs to be moved ever so slightly to the left."

He was a little frustrated because even though he is quite the buff little guy, he does have his limits. He lifted the rock and moved it ever so slightly as per my command.   "There. That looks much better."

"But Mom. I moved it less than an inch."

"It's a woman thing," I told him. "Get used to it. You'll be married someday."

I Take a Stupid Pill

Last night, Computer Geek, Neo, and I were watching The Brady Bunch.  It's one of the geeky things we do as a family, every Monday through Friday at 5:30 sharp. (When I was eleven years old, I never dreamed that forty years later, I would still be able to watch my favorite show!) In this episode, Marcia Brady was attempting to show that she was equal to boys by joining the all-male scouting troop. My husband made some comment as to how that episode was an example of the Hegelian Dialectic Process in action (don't ask.)

For some odd reason, I was highly annoyed by his comment, especially when Neo agreed with him. I started making comments like, "Oh, you're right. Maybe Marcia should just go cook something," and "Poor Marcia. She's too stupid to do what boys do. Maybe she should just get out her sewing machine."  Yeah, I'll admit I was a little a lot sarcastic. Then I got up and said, "Maybe stupid ol' me will just go do some dishes or something."

 A little later, Computer Geek was headed out to a city council meeting and I had a meeting I had to go to, so he said, "I left your keys in the car, in between the two seats."

You should know that our car has a mind of its own sometimes and at random moments it will spontaneously lock and unlock itself.  I can be driving down the highway and hear the door locks going up, down, up, down. At times, I have left the car unlocked only to come back later and see that it has locked itself. With that in mind, I said to CG, " I don't like when you leave the keys in the car because I am afraid that it will spontaneously lock."

He said, "That's why I left the window open for you."

Keep in mind I have just spent the last hour being sarcastic to this man with my biting "Oh, I guess women are just TOO STUPID." comments. Nevertheless, I responded with, "Oh, you expect me to crawl through the window to get the keys?"

He, being a smart man, said, "No. I expect you to reach in the window to unlock the door."

Boy, was I feeling kind of sheepish.

I Take a Grumpy Pill

So now, this morning, I was vacuuming, when I noticed a lack of tracks. Many women know that part of the joy of vacuuming is seeing those tracks, indicating "Hoo-boy, is my carpet ever clean!" This is the third day in a row this has happened. CG solved it the other two days by reattaching the vacuum cleaner belt. Today, when it happened again, he said, " I looked this up online. Is the hairspray you use really sticky?"

I retorted with, "So now it's my fault? Yeah, I take the vacuum cleaner into the bathroom and get my sticky hairspray all over it!"

Time to feel sheepish again.

"No. It just said online that if you spray the belt with a sticky hair spray the belt won't come off so often."

So yeah. The past two days I've been eating some delicious humble pie.

It didn't stop me from making Weston move the burn barrel he was installing in our new fire pit.  "It needs to be moved over just about an inch." 

It has to look right, doesn't it?

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