My baby turned twelve the other day. He’s now the same age as my previous baby (Kay) was, when I had him. As I left the hospital, they told me that I would qualify for the government WIC [Women, Infants, Children] program because of three factors—
1. Maternal age. I was thirty-eight.
2. Income. I had not been working because I had a blood clot in my lung and was bedridden due to going into labor at four months.
3. Short time since last pregnancy. Serious? Really? Twelve years since I had my last child and they consider that a short time between pregnancies?
So. He’s twelve. Time for another one? No way! I am having too much fun watching grandchildren come into the world and playing with them. I do enjoy, however, that there is only a five year difference between my son and my first grandson. It’s fun to see them play together and I like seeing Weston’s clothes revamped into use for Avatar.
I interviewed Weston in honor of his birthday. I hope that you enjoy getting to know him better.
1. If you could eat anything you wanted for a meal, what would you pick? A sixteen-inch meat combo Cavalier’s [local place] pizza, seven-layer bars, really great purple grapes and Welch’s grape juice.
2. If you could have anything you wanted for your birthday, what would it be? A four-wheeler that can jump really well, an extremely good laptop, and a Jamis Parker mountain bike.
3. What chore do you hate the worst? Unloading the dishwasher.
4. What is your favorite color? Blue.
5. What is your favorite movie? Avatar, the James Cameron one, not Airbender.
6. What is your favorite song? Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell. [The boy is right. Awesome song. Go here to listen for yourself.]
7. What are your favorite TV shows? Cake Boss, Bear Grylls [Man vs. Wild,] Wipeout, 24, Lost and How It’s Made.
8. What place that you’ve visited was your favorite? Seven Peaks.
9. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? To the best biking place ever.
10. What is your favorite class at school? Computers.
11. What is the worst problem in the world? You mean the worst math problem? No, I mean a problem that affects people in the world. Wars.
12. What is your favorite book? The Percy Jackson series.
13. What was the scariest thing that ever happened to you? It was when I was stuck on a ridge at Goblin Valley. On one side it was a fifty foot drop. On the other side it was a ten foot drop into soft sand but I couldn’t jump there because Brian peed there. Brian finally came and helped me down because he is 6’6”.
14. What is the best thing that ever happened in your life? I was born.
Here are a few more facts about Weston that weren’t covered in the interview.
He can’t sit still. If someone tries to make him, he will immediately start making sound effects, which turns into motions to accompany those sounds, which means he is no longer sitting still.
He began making sound effects when he was about sixteen months old. I first noticed it one morning when I saw him pushing around a piece of cereal, making vroom noises.
I was on the phone talking to a friend when he was eighteen months old. He toddled into my bedroom and handed me a bolt. I said, “Thank you,” and continued talking. He came back in carrying a nut. I again thanked him, and went on talking to my friend. On his third trip to my room, I thought it a little odd that he was bringing me more nuts and bolts. Had he gotten into the tool drawer, which I thought only contained hammers, screwdrivers and wrenches? I remarked to the friend, “He keeps bringing me nuts and bolts.” We both laughed. It was when he brought me a foot-long piece of wood that I told the friend to hang on because I had to go see what he was doing. I came back to tell her that he had dismantled, without any tools, my magazine rack.
Pink used to be his favorite color, but at long last he has succumbed to peer pressure and says his favorite color is blue. He has a t-shirt that says “Tough Guys Wear Pink.”
He detests onions. I am so proud.
When he was young he used to try to sing like an opera star. He loves Il Divo.
He hates to read, but loves to be read to.
School is torture for him but we can spend hours each week looking up answers to his questions.
He is a businessman at heart. When I managed a cell phone store, he used to open the door for my customers and offer to get them a drink. He would keep them busy talking while they were waiting for help. Last year he bought calendars and sold them at a profit. He currently has more money in his wallet than I do.
I have never had to worry about his cleanliness. This kid has loved to take long showers since toddlerhood, sometimes more than one in a day. The down side? He inspects every plate, cup and fork before eating his meal. Felix. Felix Unger.
Weston’s bestest bud since he could crawl is a sensitive redhead we call He’s Hot. [Because he really is. Just ask him.] Weston and He’s Hot have looked out for each other since they were small guys. They’ve got each other's backs. We gave He’s Hot a ride home one time when he was lots younger. As he ran up his driveway, he wiped out on the gravel and got hurt. Weston saw it happen and said, “I wish that would have happened to me instead.” Another time, Weston was left standing outside the school building after classes by a delinquent parental unit. He’s Hot asked his mom to please take Weston home. “Mom, friends don’t let friends stand in the cold.” Recently Weston remarked, “Mom, no one understands me like He’s Hot.”
As far as inanimate best friends go, the winner would definitely be Monkey. Monkey is a stuffed monkey, natch, that rarely spends a night away from Weston. In fact, Monkey insists on sleeping right next to Weston every night. Monkey has owned Weston for about six years. They were brought together by Weston’s father, who was living far away in California at the time. On Weston’s sixth birthday, he opened the box that was UPS’d from California to find Monkey staring right at him. The imprinting was immediate and complete.
[What? Oh, okay. Monkey wants me to tell you the story of how he almost died.] Two years ago, my husband was one of several winners of a workplace contest. As a winner, he and his family were to be treated to a weekend on his boss’s houseboat at Lake Powell. When we got there, we had to wheel all of our belongings in a cart down through the maze of docks, until we reached the houseboat. It was the farthest away because it was the largest houseboat on the lake. Monkey, sitting on top of the cart, had gotten jostled during the long ride. When we finally reached the houseboat, Monkey did an amazing dive from the cart and landed face-first in the water between the dock and the houseboat. [I did not push you!] Luckily Weston was small enough to wiggle his body down in the tight space and was able to retrieve Monkey before he was saturated and faced an untimely drowning. It was a horrific few moments for all of us.
Happy twelfth birthday, Weston, and Happy sixth birthday, Monkey. May you have many more wonderful years ahead of you.