Learning to Slow Down

I have an eating disorder. No, not one of the biggies like binging and purging or anorexia. In fact, it may be more like an eating eccentricity. My food fetish is this: I pretty much consider eating a waste of time, and will only eat if I can combine it with another activity.

On days that Computer Geek and Weston are off doing their own things, sometimes I don't even eat. Why?  Because the pain of making and cleaning up after food costs more than the pleasure derived from eating it.
When I eat, I usually have a book or computer screen in front of me. At night, we eat dinner while watching Jeopardy. I think I feel that the only way I can justify taking time to eat is if I am doing something productive at the same time.

There's an inherent problem in eating this way. I am not conscious that I am eating. Then to justify that I am sitting down and doing something pleasurable, i.e. reading and resting, I keep eating. When I stop eating, then I can no longer justify relaxing.  I know, it's a twisted game I play.

Today for lunch I made corn on the cob. I looked around for a book to read so I could be "productive" while eating. Unfortunately, God didn't make book-reading and corn-eating things that you could do simultaneously, not unless you have one hand to hold the book and two hands to hold the corn cob. Aha! I would go get caught up on my emails!

That didn't work either. My plate didn't fit on my desk, unless I wanted to remove my keyboard or have corn juice splashing on my screen.  I was kind of frantic, trying to figure out something I could do while eating, when suddenly it was as if I heard a voice in my head...

Just sit down and eat and enjoy your corn.

Like without a book?

Yes. Just enjoy the corn.

Wow, it was a novel concept, but I thought I could give it a try. I buttered and salted and peppered my corn and sat down at the table to eat it. Without a book. Without Alex Trebeck. Without having a conversation with family or Facebook. Just me and the corn.

It was good. And when I was finished, I stopped. I didn't go get more food so that I could justify reading a little bit more. It was kind of nice. I may have to enjoy my food more often instead of mindlessly eating while engrossed in other things.

I may have to just stop and enjoy the little things.