Signs of the Times

There's one thing you must know about Computer Geek and me.

We love finding visible evidence of the dumbing down of America. The only reason we do this is so that we can feel superior and have a good laugh at the expense of others. We guffaw about it over and over, saying "HA! At least we ain't THAT stupid!" It's a real self esteem booster.

Two of our favorites were seen on local business signs.

On a sign for a local bank: "Bank X welcomes back student's ! "

Now does that mean Bank X welcomes back student is? Or does that mean Bank X welcomes back something belonging to a student? But which student? And what? Oh, the confusion.

On a sign at a local kingdom starting with a "W" and ending with "Mart": "Preparation items for You and Your's."

You and Your Is? Come on, this is "W Mart!" Certainly they could afford to hire a sign maker who knows English. Or maybe they are purposely trying to dumb us down so that when they start selling Soylent Green, we won't notice.

It was with this spirit of mocking, laughing and pointing that I went to another state last week. Ok, so I didn't GO there with that in mind, but my already mocking heart was blackened once I got there.

I was walking downtown in one of the cutest, busiest, small town downtowns that I have ever seen. And as it is late summer, I noticed a sign on a sidewalk that said "Sumer Sale! 50% off!"

It took all my self control to avoid walking in the store and saying, "I noticed you are having a Sumerian sale. Do you have any tunics with a Mesopotamian flair? Maybe something from the Second Dynasty of Lagesh perhaps?" But no. I held myself back.

It wasn't until I saw the second sign, that I decided to take pictures.



Not only did the signmaker not know how to spell "bargain" but he or she appeared to have dotted the "a." Or did he initially have an "i" there and thought it just didn't look right? (Ooh, there's just enough room to squeeze an "a" right between that "g" and "i." If this sign looks familiar to your hometown, please go correct it for me. And yes, I am that OCD.)

By the time I saw the third sign that day, I was convinced that it is not only Utah that can't spell. This sign was posted in honor of all the motorcyclists coming through town, headed to Sturgis.

Now I can understand using a backward 3 when you don't have an "E" handy. But to misspell "biker?" Didn't we all learn to spell "biker" back in first grade? See Dick. Dick has a bike. Dick is a biker. See Jane. Jane has a trike. Jane is a triker. See Dick and Jane rev their motors and head to Sturgis.

Computer Geek and I are convinced that you will never find a sign with a misspelling in either Iowa or Washington. If you do, it was obviously written by someone who moved there from another state.